I used to be an ENTJ. Now, I’m an INFP. Or maybe an ISFP.
These, of course, refer to MBTI Personality Types.
Actually, I don’t think I was ever really an E. I just played one.
It’s not that I don’t T anymore. It’s just that I do more F. Or at least I’m more comfortable owning my Fs.
I’m also a firstborn, son, father, brother, colleague, sangha member, and friend.
I’ve taken the Big 5 personality test, and I’m confident I have some. Whatever personality I have has labels that mean something to someone.
When I started my journey in sales (and then later in sales training), I thought understanding how to put people into the right box would help. Clearly, people have different preferences regarding interacting with others, processing information, and dealing with uncertainty (just to name a few dimensions).
I ran into two problems.
First, I can never remember the different labels, much less what they mean and imply.
Second, in a rare moment of youthful clarity, I realized that trained therapists get this stuff wrong. Tell me again why I was going to make an accurate assessment on the fly.
Labels are a heavy load to carry around. Like all mental shortcuts, they seem like they help. Rather than having to experience this person or this moment directly, we can do a quick scan, figure out what shelf or box seems about right, tuck reality back out of sight, and drive on.
If a connection is your aim, and let me encourage you to make that a priority, stay away from the labels as long as you can. What’s going on here and now? Start there.