When the problem and the solution are the same, you don’t have a real decision. There’s a difference between “Should we go to Spain this year?” and “What should we do for a vacation?”
The first is a set-up to go to Spain.
The second invites consideration of many alternatives.
“Should I divorce the bastard?” is a self-answering question. “Well, when you put it like that . . .”
The first question or version of the problem that comes to mind is seldom the right one. It’s almost never the most helpful way to think about what’s happening.
Words matter. How you talk about (in your head and to others) something matters. Pretend you’re hearing and seeing whatever is happening for the first time. Approach with the mind of a beginner. Assume you don’t have all the facts because, well, you don’t.
Change the words. Make them bigger. Make them smaller. Move them around.
There are at least ten other ways to describe whatever problem you’re working on. A “holiday,” “vacation,” and “time off” aren’t the same things.
The same is true for what’s bothering you (or your client, friend, spouse, teammate . . .)