Tag Archives for " Goldman Sachs "

Mar 18

You Can Tell it’s Sunday Again

By kevin | Current Affairs , Rants and Raves

You can tell it’s Sunday because it’s time for the GOP hopefuls to go on the morning talk shows and say stupid things about foreign policy.  This from the WSJ . . .

Mr. Romney said that if he became president, he would work more closely with Mr. Karzai and consult with him “day to day,” in contrast with Mr. Obama, who has had more limited contact with the Afghan leader.

Ummm, no you wouldn’t.

I think it’s very plain to see that the conditions there [in Afghanistan] are not going very well,” Mr. Romney told Fox. “And I lay part of the blame for that on the lack of leadership on the part of our president, both in terms of his interaction with Karzai, with leaders there, as well as his relative detachment from our military commanders there, and the fact that he published a specific date for our withdrawal.

Why does this make me think of the famous scene from Princess Bride where the Man in Black challenges Vizzini to a “battle of the wits” involving Iocane Powder

Vizzini:  YOU’D LIKE TO THINK THAT, WOULDN’T YOU?  You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong, so you could’ve put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man In Black:  You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work.

Vizzini:  IT HAS WORKED! YOU’VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!

Man In Black:  Then make your choice.

Vizzini:  I will, and I choose– What in the world can that be?

Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. The Man In Black looks.

Man In Black:  What? Where? Vizzini switches the goblets. Turning back. I don’t see anything.

Vizzini:  Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. Smirks.

Man In Black:  What’s so funny?

Vizzini:  I’ll tell you in a minute. First, let’s drink. Me from my glass, Picks up glass. and you from yours.

They drink.

Man In Black: Pointing. You guessed wrong.

Vizzini:  You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this:  never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha– Stops suddenly, and falls dead, to his right.

Yes, I can see clearly now Mitt, the right answer is to stay forever in the graveyard of nations, a place firmly locked in the Bronze Age with access to 20th century weapons (21st?) run by a guy who hangs onto his office because of American arms.  So riddle me this, what are you planning on talking to him about every day?

Not that facts matter to the only true conservative left standing, but the answer to the question is “no it is not.”

As in any other state, you have to comply with this and any federal law. And that is that English has to be the main language,” Santorum told El Vocero, a San Juan newspaper. “There are other states with more than one language as is the case in Hawaii, but to be a state in the United States, English has to be the main language.

And the question is: Is English the official language of the United States?

In other news, it was a bad week for lost innocence.

Mr. Smith went to Goldman and found out folks there had sharp elbows. So he quit. And it only took him 12 years to figure that out.

After taking the gullible western world by storm with Kony 2012 . . . (you pick)

  1. It turns out Invisible Children is a front for an evangelical group that is in Africa trying to convert the heathen.
  2. The producers turn out to subscribe to the doctrine of truthiness when it comes to, well most of it, in order to raise money.
  3. The locals hated the movie. Something about the white man’s burden.
  4. The co-founder of Invisible Children was arrested after quite visibly masturbating in public, high as a kite and drunk on his ass.

Mike Daisy admits to suffering from “truthiness” in his expose on This American Life. It turns out that Foxconn is only MOSTLY abusing the environment and taking advantage of workers in the name of profit (because that only goes on in China). He will now receive thirty lashes for embellishment.  (Bonus question, is truthiness about Foxconn the moral equivalent of calling someone a slut?)

The not-hit HBO series with the stellar cast (was Nick Nolte ever young?) called Luck was cancelled, the reason given because three horses died during filming (call it 4500 lbs. of horse meat).  No word on how many animals died in the making of the meals served to the cast.

It turns out that those rapacious slaughterhouse operators are putting weird stuff (the now notorious Pink Slime) in our ground beef.  Call for Mr. Sinclair, Mr. Upton Sinclair.

A decorated Non-Com on his fourth tour (but only his first in the country Mitt wants to adopt as our own) in a place where we’re not wanted, where the rules of engagement say we don’t shoot until the other guy shoots first, stuck out in the middle of fuck-all-nowhere surrounded by nothing finally snaps and goes medieval in a medieval land.  It’s sad for lots of reasons but the big surprise is that anyone is surprised and that it doesn’t happen more often (or does it?)

All of which puts me in mind of yet another movie.

Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?

Captain Renault: I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here.

[A casino worker gives Renault a wad of money.]

Casino Worker: Your winnings, sir.

Captain Renault: [Quietly] Oh, thank you very much. [Loudly] Everybody out at once.

 

 

Nov 12

It Just Doesn’t Stop

By kevin | Current Affairs , Random Walk

This just in, three out of four Perry supporters didn’t even know we had a Department of Engerrry.

“Republican primary voters see Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich as the presidential candidates most qualified to lead the military and handle a crisis abroad.”  Democratic voters see Romney and Gingrich as the most likely candidates to know where Europe is . . . and Cain as the most likely to know what “a broad” is.

Something you won’t hear at the debate tonight: “Imagine what the Deutsch Mark would be trading at if Germany had stayed out of the Euro!!!”

The SEC has just announced that eight employees have been disciplined over the Madoff unpleasantness.  Three received stern looks, two were sent to bed without their dinner, one was made to “take a time out”, another was required to write “I will not speak out of turn” 500 times, and one had the clean erasers after school.

Note to Candidate Perry on the eve of the Foreign Policy Debate in South Carolina: The one that looks like a boot is Italy.

You heard it here first.  There is going to be a 60 minute special on Sunday that will dare to suggest that all those members of Congress — you know, the ones to whom the ’33 act, ’34 act, The Insider Trading Sanctions Act of 1984 and the Insider Trading and Securities Fraud Enforcement Act of 1988 don’t apply — are trading ahead of the public based on “material non public information.”  Repeat after me, “I’m shocked, just shocked . . .”

I have to admit that I didn’t see the Gingrich upsurge coming. Nothing screams “values” like serial affairs and marriages, an academic pedigree, and a massive Tiffany’s bill.

File this in the “I’m shocked” category.  From the New York Times (so it must be true).

Halfway between Los Angeles and San Francisco, on a former cattle ranch and gypsum mine, NRG Energy is building an engineering marvel: nearly a million solar panels that will power about 100,000 homes. The project is a marvel in another, less obvious way: Taxpayers and ratepayers are providing subsidies worth almost as much as the entire $1.6 billion cost of the project. Similar subsidy packages have been given to 15 other solar- and wind-power electric plants since 2009. The government support — loan guarantees, cash grants and contracts that require electric customers to pay higher rates — largely eliminated the risk to the private investors and almost guaranteed them large profits for years to come. The beneficiaries include Goldman Sachs . . .

I know, right? A government program that is rigged to deliver risk-free rates of return on the order of 25% per annum and Goldman Sachs winds up with all the money?  Like I said, shocking.

Why is it I can’t stop giggling at the thought of Michele, Mitt, Rick, Herman, Ron, Newt, and the other three guys I can’t remember “debating” foreign policy?

Why is it that the first names of the current crop of GOP hopefuls reads like the starting line up of The Little Rascals?

Far too many athletes (and coaches) diminish themselves, their team, and their sport over the course of their career. Joe Frazier was not among them.